


Bardolatry

by Bumocusal



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Season/Series 14, Bedrooms, Castiel Loves Dean Winchester, Castiel is a Softie, Castiel is a Sweetheart, Dean Winchester Loves Castiel, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Domestic Fluff, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Fluff, Lists, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Nightmares, One Shot, Sam Winchester Saves The Day, Season/Series 14 Speculation, Sharing a Bed, Short One Shot, Sleeping Together, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-07-15 12:31:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16063229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bumocusal/pseuds/Bumocusal
Summary: Castiel makes a list of reasons why he can't sleep with Dean.1. Dean takes forever to go to sleep.2. Dean throws his blankets on and off depending on if he's hot or cold.3. Dean punches and kicks aimlessly at full force.4. Dean has nightmares.5. Dean snores,loudly.





	Bardolatry

Castiel could _not_ sleep with Dean Winchester.

Well, that was a little leading. He could have sex with Dean until the universe imploded on itself, and it was fantastic lovemaking at that. The kind Shakespeare would write sonnets about. The kind Sam would grumble and bang on the door about. The kind that they'd fall into after a stressful hunt and just touch each other and cry about. Yes, Castiel excelled in sex with Dean. It was the part that came after, laying next to Dean and relaxing, that was such an otherworldly experience. 

Mostly because Castiel didn't really need to sleep. It was an indulgence like eating and drinking was. And lately, he'd been drinking enough coffee to put Sam under the table. The first time they had sex, a messy handjob in the back of the Impala, Dean had sighed and slumped down. Castiel had used his grace to clean them and redress himself. Dean, who had swindled him into the mess by claiming he would be the wrong kind of friend to let Castiel die a virgin, had pouted and expressed his want for post-coital cuddles. Castiel, without any finesse, laid his head awkwardly on Dean's chest and waited for him to fall asleep before flying away.

It continued on like that for the rest of their friendship and now relationship. Dean craving that feeling of a warm body, and as the years progressed specifically Castiel, next to him as he drifted out of consciousness. And Castiel never knew how to disappoint Dean, so he bites his tongue and endures. And, they had sex all the time. When Lucifer and Micheal were still roaming around for apocalypse take one, during purgatory where Benny could stumble onto them at any moment, during the Leviathans when Cas wasn't _totally_  crazy— they were having sex just about every ten minutes. Which meant they were supposed to be cuddling, and even sleeping together, just as much, according to Dean.

Sam says he should just talk to Dean and stop loading all his domestic issues onto him. It's not really the answer he wants, but he does agree with the talking part. It's just that Winchesters, while good at telling people they need to talk about their problems, never really put that advice into practice. He's nervous, so he decides he needs to plan out what he's going to say. He'll even make bullet points. Or maybe that's _too_ Sam. 

After attempting and failing to stay in the same bed as Dean for over ten years, Castiel makes a list:

  1. Dean takes forever to go to sleep.
  2. Dean throws his blankets on and off depending on if he is hot or cold.
  3. Dean punches and kicks aimlessly at full force.
  4. Dean has nightmares.
  5. Dean snores,  _loudly._



In the end, he just numbered them like a "normal person"— as Dean would say. Dean would also say not to use finger apostrophes, but Dean wasn't here right now and Castiel would do as many hand gestures, rude and innocent alike, as he damn well pleased.

Anyway, sometimes they would lay awake until Sam woke up for his run, Dean's eyes shut tight and mind unable to shut down. Castiel would lay with his head cradled in a memory foam pillow, hand outstretched to feel every twitch and jerk Dean made as he tried to get to sleep. He would get up to get water, pee, and even his third helping of a supposed midnight snack. It was infuriating.

Being a sorry excuse for an angel means Castiel didn't feel hot or cold, but Dean sure did. He had five blankets that he would interexchange randomly throughout the night, kicking off four out of five by the time he finally entered his deep sleep. Castiel would sometimes spend the night without any covering, just laying on his side of the bed with only boxers because Dean would steal his measly thin sheet for himself and then throw it onto the floor.

And if the blanket hogging wasn't enough, Castiel constantly gets assaulted every night. It's like their bed is a boxing ring. A right hook was like a magnet to the bullseye that was his face, swinging during the most inopportune moments. Other times it was a swift kick to the balls or toenails scrapping up and down his leg— but don't get him started on Dean's toenails, those are a totally different complaint. Especially when he clips them _on_ the bed and they get tangled up in the sheets and duvet and Castiel ends up laying on tiny little scratchy things.

His nightmares are the worst, though. Castiel will be laying there, Dean's head finally comfortable pressed into the crook of his neck, when a sudden shout brings him out of his tranquil state. Dean twists, hands clenching around nothing with sweat pouring down his forehead and neck. He completely soaks his pillow and cries as the nightmares rage on, anything from memories of Hell, purgatory, the darkness, and Michael. It's like a spinning wheel of choices for his subconscious to latch onto and Castiel can't dream walk anymore or telepathically ease the severity of them. Maybe that's what makes them the worst part of sleeping with Dean.

Wait, his nightmares don't even come close to his snoring! It's the actual worst of them all. Like a train or the Impala's motor, growly and loud and completely annoying. And it's always worst after he's given Castiel a blow job, to the point where Castiel refuses Dean's hot, tight, slick mouth on him.

So, Castiel really can't sleep with Dean anymore. It's too much. So he gets a pen and paper from a drawer in Dean's desk and writes down a list of five reasons. He waits until it's bedtime, the yellow loose leaf paper burning a hole in his pocket. When he sits on the edge of the bed, he pulls out the list and coughs to get Dean's attention.

"What's wrong?" Dean asks, hand reaching over to squeeze his knee.

"You take forever to go to sleep. You're never content on how many blankets you have. You punch and kick and sometimes noogie in your sleep. You have nightmares that scare me more than they scare you. And you snore so loud that I'm sure Chuck and Amara hear you where ever they are." Castiel stays stoic the entire time he's reading. 

Peaking up to catch Dean's confused expression, "Um—"

He interrupts Dean, continuing, "And for all these reasons, I love you. I don't care about how horrible it is to sleep with you, as long as I get to wake up to you in the morning— it's worth everything."

Dean laughs, "I love you, too, you sap."

"Sap? Like from a tree?" 

It's a joke that's "Castiel brand of humor", as Dean fondly calls it, that usually gets a short exhale of air. Instead, he snuggles closer to Castiel and smiles softly without answering.

But a few moments later, like Dean is finally going over his list of reasons, he pulls back and points, "Oh, I do _not_ snore!"

**Author's Note:**

> This wasn't beta'd. I literally wrote and published this in an hour. No ragrets, yo.  
> Oh, and Bardolatry means "obsessed with Shakespeare". 
> 
> (If you want to message me any prompts or just talk, my twitter is @ImpalaLostiel - I might even tweet about future fics!)
> 
> Comment, kudos, and bookmark! I appreciate the feedback.


End file.
